Labor of Love

I realized in my last post I reference my stubborn daughter's arrival into this world. Whenever I think about Jeremiah 29:11, I think of our sweet Abby. This is the verse that my husband and I chose for her at her dedication. It gives me the confidence that God has greater plan for her than I could ever imagine. It won't be without strife or pain, but it will also be full of hope and joy. Without that confidence, I don't know how well I would handle parenthood. I am sure I would be a mess of worry and anxiety.

As for the stubborn part, my dear, sweet daughter took her sweet time in joining us. I went into the doctor for my 39 week check up and started what would become a very long week. Throughout my pregnancy, my blood pressure was slightly high but would go down with just a few minutes of sitting in the room. I was also experiencing some swelling in my feet and ankles, which they were watching, but attributed to the fact that I was teaching and coaching. For this appointment at 8am on a Thursday morning, I saw a different doctor in the practice than those that I had been seeing. She was immediately concerned with my blood pressure and swelling and sent me to labor and delivery for testing to determine if I had preeclampsia. I called into work and let them know that I wouldn't be in that day or the next as some of the test required 24 hours at home. They got the test results at some point that evening, but the doctor didn't come back in until Monday morning. So, I was told to take it easy and that if I experienced any of a list of symptoms to come in immediately. If not call the doctor at 8am on Monday. I made the call and was told to come in to be induced right away. After a final meeting to find out the details of my maternity leave, a long story by itself, I went in for my induction.

Apparently October is a busy month for babies and Josh and I spent about 5 hours waiting for me to get into a room. At that point the doctors were changing shifts and I had to wait for a new doctor to come up with a plan of action. Beginning that evening, I began the ever so long process of being induced. The first night was medication for dilation. Tuesday was 8 hours of Pitocin followed by a procedure to further assist in dilation. Wednesday arrived with more Pitocin. Wednesday evening my doctor came on shift (thank God!) and decided that I was far enough along to break my water. Starting at about 5pm I went into real, hard labor and at 6am, October 27th my sweet little girl finally made her appearance.

As soon as we told my grandparents that I was pregnant and due Oct 30th, my grandpa was sure that I would have the baby on his birthday, Oct 27. As my pregnancy progressed, we decided that we didn't want to know the gender of the baby. However, my grandpa was sure that I would have a little girl on his birthday. He even had a countdown going based on his birthday. When I went in on that Monday to be induced, we didn't think it would be possible for my grandpa to get his wish. Little did we know that God and our little girl were in cahoots and gave him a great birthday present. This year, he turned 70 as she turned 1 and having her around gave him more joy that reaching his 70th despite several health crises in which we could have lost him.

Throughout it all, God again reinforced that He has a perfect plan that is so much more than we could ever imagine!

Where am I going?

Jeremiah 29:11-14 - "'For I know the plans that I have for you' declares the LORD, 'plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon ME and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart. I will be found by you,' declares the LORD, 'and I will restore your fortunes and will gather you from all the nation sand from all the places where I have driven you,' declares the LORD, 'and I will bring you back to the place form where I sent you into exile.'"

Lately, I have spent a lot of time thinking about the will of God and what that means. These verses in Jeremiah are so powerful to me. I feel like I have a new understanding of the peace and joy that come out of following Christ with your whole heart and soul and being in the place that He wants for you. I love teaching, but I know that isn't where I am supposed to be right now. The turmoil I felt prior to leaving my teaching position made it clear to me that God wanted something more from me. For the last few months that I was teaching (after returning to maternity leave) I continued to give my heart to my students, but there was an unsettled feeling and I didn't know exactly where God was leading. (See my "Second Try" post for more about that time.) Little did I know what God had in store. 

Through God's call, I interviewed for a job at my church running the nursery. After taking on the position, so many areas of my life fell into place. First, I had been struggling with finding ways to advance the kingdom in a position where I had to be very delicate in bringing up Christ. Working in ministry gives me the opportunity to interact with others and openly share my faith and what God has done in my life. Second, I have a great forever friend. She was at the hospital for about the last 20 hours of my labor and entertained my family that was very tiredly awaiting the birth of our stubborn little girl. However, we don't live close to one another and our schedule are often conflicting making it hard to see each other. Since finishing college and getting married, I have desperately needed more strong women of faith in my life. I have been blessed with some along the way, but have found so many more in my coworkers and those that I interact with on a regular basis now. We are living life together. It is amazing what a blessing that can be. Additionally, I have found that despite regularly reading my Bible, I have grown rusty on my theology as compared to when I was attending a Christian school and using it regularly. I am brushing off the dust and rust because I am using all of that knowledge more regularly and beyond just my own study. And the added bonus, I dropped all my baby weight plus some with the removal of stress and being able to fully embrace and find peace in where Christ has placed me. 

These verses struck me so significantly because as I wrestled through these tough decisions and made some choices that meant I get funny looks because I chose God's plan, my faith and family, over my career, I always knew that God had a plan and was with me through it all. I can't even imagine the despair of going through a tough time without that peace and comfort. In Jeremiah, God told those that were in exile that He sent them their and would bring them back. If they called on Him and sought Him out with heart and soul, they would find Him and He will listen. We may not always know the plans, but when Christ calls and we follow, with the confidence that He has a plan for us, we are never without HOPE. 

Today's Musings...

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future." ~ Jeremiah 29:11

As we walk through rough times or times of uncertainty, it is important to always remember that there is a plan. We may not be privy to that plan as of yet, but God has a plan for us that is often so much bigger than we can even imagine. If we trust that plan, take a step out in faith, God can use us to do amazing things. But... it all comes down to that step of faith. Do we really take to heart that God has a plan? Or, as I so often do, do we try to make it work on our own and end up completely off track?

I am working on writing a letter to my daughter for her upcoming dedication. I have to trust this for her as well. God has an amazing plan for her life. I am committed to doing everything I can to help her know and trust him. I want to raise a daughter that is a Christ-follower, not a fan of Christ. The best way I can do this is to be an example of living by faith.