Are you tired?!

It never ceases to amaze me how GOOD God is. The way He provides exactly what we need (not more or less) when we need it. My next rotation in teaching in my church's women's bible study will be focused on Matthew 11. Without fail, God continually brings the topic/verses I will be teaching in front of me over and over and over again before I teach. This verse from Matthew 11, "Come to me all you who labor and are heavy laden and I will give you rest" is one of those verses He brings to me over, and over, and over again. In a season of life that is hectic and when I am often tired and weary of body, He reminds me that my soul can find rest, the living water, restoration when I am seeking Him. It is so easy to use the very reasons why I need to dig into the word (tired, stressed, anxious, etc...) as my reasons why I just don't have time to. But God, in his perfect grace and mercy, his lovingkindness, reminds me that he is the source for all I need. He is my rock and my salvation. He is my refuge, my fortress. He must be my priority to make all the others line up. Without Him as the foundation, my life is built on shifting sand. When the rains and storms come, and they will, what I have built on my own will wash away, but what Christ has build will be sure and steady and lasting. I named this blog "walking in His lovingkindness" as a reminder that that is where I should be. It is how I should live. It is the example I want to set for my children. It is how I find rest for my weary soul. Are you tired? Are you weary, soul-deep exhausted? There is a hope. Not many, but one sure truth. Jesus Christ through his birth, death and resurrection is our only hope for rest, true eternal rest. Being a "church person" or even claiming the title of "Christian" is not enough. Narrow is the path that leads to eternal life (Matthew 7:14).

If you believe in Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, you will find rest for your weary soul.

Rest Day Strikes Again!

I am starting to notice a trend. When I set aside a day specifically for rest, Satan attacks. He attacks in ways I never imagined! God in His lovingkindness is always there when we turn to Him

Let me set the stage. My husband, whom I love and cherish and rely on as a partner in all things, has been working CRAZY hours! We really are a team and balance each other in the home and parenting. The past two weeks have been super busy for him at work meaning that he has worked less than a 12 hour day twice in the last two weeks. It also means he is home for less than an hour of our children's awake time pretty much every weekday. God has been so good in reminding me that His power is made perfect in my weakness and His grace is sufficient to carry me through each day (see previous post). Yesterday, apparently, I decided to let that fly out the window. By about 3 in the afternoon, when my daughter wanted  to play outside again and my son took what get like the shortest nap ever, my anxiety hit an all time high. Nothing happened during the day that should have sent it skyrocketing this way and it hasn't been like this in YEARS! In high school I dealt with depression and anxiety. Nothing that required a diagnosis or treatment, but that caused me to miss a lot of school with unexplained stomach aches until we discovered what the problem was and that those were a symptom of adolescent depression and anxiety. As I matured in my relationship with the Lord, recognized my perfectionist tendencies and got out of high school, my struggles with anxiety and depression have started to seem like a distant memory. Yesterday though, man did it hit hard. All I wanted was to take a nap and hide in my kids' tent the rest of the day. I forgot yesterday afternoon, despite all of the reminders God has given me over the last week, that His grace is sufficient. 

So, last night Kid #2 was in bed by the time my hubby got home and he got #1 to bed after they visited while he had dinner. He could see my stress and anxiety and sent me to take a bath and go to bed. I was so exhausted that I don't even remember falling asleep at least an hour and a half before I normally do. I was praying that God would help me remember to turn to Him tomorrow

In God's grace my son only woke up once last night (as opposed to the normal 3-4 times) and my daughter slept in her bed all night with no bad dreams. This morning when my son woke up and was cuddling and taking his bottle I opened to Matthew (what I am studying this semester at church) to read, not study, just read. In God's ever present goodness He didn't make me go far. 4 verses into the chapter I was reading  about Jesus being tempted in the wilderness (man, does that feel like where I have been this week) He replies to Satan about FOOD (my eating was way off yesterday throughout the afternoon and evening when my anxiety hit) that "Man does not live by bread alone but by the word of God". This is nothing new! I know this! I memorized this verse over and over again growing up. But, yesterday in the midst of trial, I didn't turn to the Bread of Life, I tried to do t on my own and fell flat on my face. This morning I started where I need to, in the Word, and am posting this verse on my fridge front and center so that when every temptation hits (food, anxiety, and everything else that will get thrown in with the day, I will turn to the Word of the Lord, hidden in my heart and written on the pages to do battle. This is the Lord's day, not mine.

Sufficient Grace

Today is the rest day in this program. I will most likely adjust in the coming weeks for Sunday to be my rest day, but I knew after yesterday that my body desperately needed the rest TODAY! God used today to remind me of the importance of rest.

I can get so caught up in the busyness of life that I feel like I can't rest and know I don't often get enough rest. But isn't that simply the fate of being mommy, especially to a little one that likes to wake up multiple times a night? I don't think so. Have you ever met someone that just oozes PEACE? I know I have. Even when everything is hectic, they have an aura of calm around them. One thing I do know about those people I have come across that exhibit that characteristic is that they are grounded in Christ. I know that there have been times in my life that I have been more like that and it is when I am fully relying on God, not myself. We so often have to fall to our knees and say, "I can't do it anymore" in order to find that complete reliance on God. Too often we think we can do it all, we don't need (read WANT) any help. I know I can know I need help, but I don't want to ask for it or appear to be weak, so I push on in my own power.

Today was one of those days where that smacked me in the face. This week I have been getting up earlier in order to get my workout and some Bible study time in before the kids really get going in the day. If I don't, everything happens in 5 or 10 minute increments and I feel I actually accomplished anything. So my goal was to get up early today and get some things done this morning in the time I usually workout since it is the scheduled rest day for my program.  I woke up with a crazy sore throat, a little girl that had to go to preschool with a big hangout with a bounce house (her FAVORITE) afterward and a little man that has been determined to push every boundary (and open EVERY cabinet). So, I decided to sleep a little longer. Man, did I need it. But more importantly when I recognized and acknowledged that I just couldn't do it all today I became more focused on the grace that God was giving me throughout the day.

I really hate the concept that God won't give you more than you can handle. I think He absolutely will. But, He will never give you something more than He can handle. He wants us to rely fully on Him. It is in our weakness that His strength and grace are more visible. I saw His grace through my weakness today and I hope that I can shine a light on Him and His strength and grace through my weakness. Today, I recognized and acknowledged the gift of rest, both in my kids and in myself. My son napped well, TWICE today. My daughter, who hasn't really napped more than a handful of times in over a year and half, too a nap. My grandparents invited us to dinner and came over before hand to hang with the kids and I. This was huge many times over. Before dinner is the hardest time for my son, I didn't have to make dinner, and my husband ended up being almost 2 hours late coming home from work. Had I been on my own at home, I would have been pulling my hair out by the time he got home. My mom called and wants to take my daughter on some errands and to lunch tomorrow. My trip to UPS went smoothly. Both of my kids went to bed well. I was able to soak in the bath. I had a super encouraging meeting with my Beachbody sisters. A friend is seeing the light at the end of the tunnel in a tough situation and we were able to praise God for orchestrating it all. That slight shift in perspective was exactly what I needed today. I needed to remember and meditate on the Word.

If you are a believer, I hope that this is an encouragement to you to see how God is giving you grace, peace and rest. If you don't believe, I hope this will encourage you to learn more about the true giver of rest.